What you say and do really influences your child, so you're in a good position to make sure they have the facts about alcohol and drinking, and can make sensible choices in the future. Although alcohol may be taught in schools (this TALK ABOUT ALCOHOL site includes a section for teachers), it's important you support your child and discuss the issues at home too.

Try to avoid forcing the issue - it's better to wait until the subject comes up naturally. You could pick up on a newspaper story about alcohol, or something that's on television; or wait until your child asks you questions about drinking.

Do whatever feels comfortable for you and your family, but ideally you should discuss the issue before your child starts experimenting with alcohol or faces pressure from their peers.

Even young children are aware of what is and isn't acceptable behaviour for adults and children when it comes to alcohol. So you can start talking to them about drinking at quite an early age.

You need to aim for a balance: warning them of the dangers, including taking aspirin with alcohol which can intensify alcoholic poisoning, and making them aware of the laws; but also saying that they can enjoy moderate social drinking when they're adults if they choose to.

The important thing is to focus on the facts, and to give your child the knowledge and skills to avoid the dangers associated with alcohol. You could explain the effect of alcohol on the body and mind, and that even small amounts will affect their ability to make rational judgements and sensible decisions. You could also direct them to the young people's part of the TALK ABOUT ALCOHOL website for information, quizzes and challenges

There is no agreed age at which it is considered 'normal' for children to drink. Some parents allow their children to try a little alcohol with them on special occasions; others prefer not to. There is some evidence to show that introducing children to tasting alcohol at home, rather than under peer pressure, reduces the risk of alcohol-related harm later on. But it's up to you to decide whether and how much your child can drink at home, but remember that it's illegal to give alcohol to a child under 5 years old.

Whatever you decide, stick to your guns and make sure your child understands why it can be dangerous for young people to drink. They should also know that there are laws restricting the age at which you can buy and drink alcohol. Just because adults are drinking alcohol at home, children should understand they can't automatically do the same.

From 11-16 years old, children spend increasing amount of time out of the home. Many parents naturally worry about who their children are with, and whether their friends are a bad influence. But don't assume the worst - try to show an interest, welcome their friends home and accept that your child needs some freedom.

If things are going well, remember to praise them for acting responsibly. If things go wrong, it's easy to overreact - but try to understand what happened and talk through the situation calmly with your child. Make sure they know the ground rules, what is and isn't acceptable, and what they can do if they're feeling pressurised by their friends.

There's no need to ban your child from drinking, but it's important to talk to them about the situation. Try to be open and honest about how alcohol has affected your family, and the difference between social drinking and alcohol misuse.

Make it clear that excessive drinking is unacceptable because of the health risks. With older children, you could agree when and where they can start drinking if appropriate. Evidence suggests that the children of those who misuse alcohol are more likely to have problems themselves in future. As a role model for your child, you're in a key position to show them that you can choose to drink responsibly and in moderation.

Younger teenagers are often tempted to drink alcohol either as an easy way to have fun when they feel they've grown out of 'childish' activities or as a quick way to show off and gain status. Perhaps they're 'late developers' - smaller physically - or school or other problems have undermined their confidence. Make sure you give them plenty of opportunities to feel successful and encourage a range of safe ways to have fun with friends so any legal drinking is kept sensible. Young people are also very vulnerable to peer pressure and sometimes agree to do something when they'd rather not.

If your child is under the legal age for purchasing alcohol, then they need to understand that they are breaking the law if they buy alcohol themselves or ask an adult to buy it for them. If you know they are drinking and they aren't under age, there is advice you can give them to reduce the risks:

• remind them that choosing not to drink is a good option and one chosen by many young people and by many of their role models
• drink slowly and never 'down' a drink in one go
• swop some of the alcoholic drinks for soft drinks or water (don't mix drinks)
• stick with trusted and responsible friends; a true friend will never force you to do anything
• tell you where they're going to be and know how they're going to get home (e.g. public transport, a named non-drinking driver, a parent)
• call someone if something goes wrong

You can help your child by talking to them about your concerns and listening to theirs. This will help you to understand their dilemmas and find solutions that are practical for both of you.

Peer pressure can have a big effect, and teenagers are particularly susceptible when they start going out more and asserting themselves. Groups have leaders and followers, all of whom must abide by the 'rules'. If the rules are unacceptable or pose a real threat to your child, then it's probably time to take action.

You should be in charge, but try to be reasonable. That means defining your expectations and establishing clear and realistic rules. Your child should also know that there are laws restricting the age at which alcohol can be bought and drunk. Giving your child the facts about alcohol, and the personal confidence and skills to make their own decisions, will help them to make sensible choices when you're not there. It might be useful for them to know, for example, that whatever their peers might tell your child they do, only 17% of young people in the UK drink regularly*.

* Source: European School Survey Project on Alcohol and other Drugs (ESPAD) study, 2003, p137

A change in behaviour at this age is pretty normal and not necessarily linked to drinking alcohol. Puberty, schoolwork, friendships and other pressures all have an effect, and your child may seem moody or depressed from time to time. However, there are some warning signs to look out for which could indicate a drinking problem:

• mood swings that can't be explained
• spending long periods shut away and alone
• loss of interest in their usual hobbies or friends
• loss of appetite
• sudden lack of interest in their appearance
• poor personal hygiene or smelling of alcohol
• skipping school or work
• seeming depressed, restless or fatigued over a long period
• always running out of money
• running away from home.

If there is a problem, try to find out and address the cause, not just the symptoms. Is it an escape, driven by peer pressure, or a lack of direction? The possibilities are endless and may not be linked to alcohol. Don't be afraid to seek help if you don't feel in control of the situation or the problem persists in spite of your support. Organisations which offer help are listed in the If you want to know more section. Certain problems require specialist help and may be beyond the capability of even the most loving and skilled parent.